When I was a kid, porn was coming of age. Our neighbor’s father had a subscription to Playboy magazine. The magazines were available any time at their home. I knew that looking at those pictures wasn’t in line with my faith and Christian living, but I found them very “interesting.”
Over the last six months I have received three Facebook messages about friends’ marriages in crisis and near divorce. In two of the three cases, the cause is sexual infidelity. In one of those, pornography played a major part in the infidelity. I suspect the same might be the case in the other two.
Another personal friend’s porn addiction led to looking at illegal materials that resulted in his arrest and charges that nearly landed him in prison.
Seems like pornography isn’t the victimless diversion some claim it is.
Perhaps you know someone caught in the trap of pornography. Perhaps you are one of those people. My heart goes out to all caught in the porn trap.
How have I escaped the trap of porn? In a nutshell, it’s God’s grace. In addition, there are also some practical things I’ve learned and practiced that have helped me porn-proof my mind and marriage.
01. Don’t Toy With Temptation
“So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:22 ESV)
All pornographic habits and addictions begin with “innocent” dabbling in explicit materials.
It’s easier than ever to play with porn. You used to have to find a magazine somewhere or go somewhere public to acquire naughty photos. Now the material is available on ubiquitous electronic devices.
Recently, I heard of an employee who was looking at explicit material in his cubicle on work time, using the company’s computer. He was observed by someone walking by and warned once, but couldn’t stop. The second time he was terminated from his job. He was a part-time pastor on the side.
Everybody likes to think, “I would never do that.” But the fact is that we don’t know how low we might go until it is too late.
What does God say? He says to “flee.” Don’t toy with temptation; flee from it.
02. Start Your Day the Jesus Way
“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35 ESV)
How you start your day sets the tone. Jesus started His day in prayer. I suggest you do the same—spend time with God.
You might connect with God using the new free eBook I will be offering soon titled 10 Prayers to Unlock Heaven on Earth.
Cleansing your mind at the start of the day will help you with the motivation to keep it cleansed for the rest of the day.
03. Don’t Believe the Lies
Jesus said to hypocritical religious leaders, “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44 ESV)
The devil loves to whisper lies to deceive us and send us in the wrong direction.
Here are some of the lies he whispers about pornography:
- “Nobody is looking, it’s your secret.”
The TRUTH is that God is always watching:
“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” (Hebrews 4:13 NIV)
- “You can enjoy this without being harmed.”
The TRUTH is that you are already harming yourself and your marriage when you are lusting:
“But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28 ESV)
- “You can’t gain freedom over this porn problem, so you might as well give in.”
The TRUTH is that you CAN:
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV)
04. Get Lots of Healthy Home Cookin’
How might we avoid eating junk food? One remedy is to enjoy good stuff—lots of healthy home cookin’.
In a similar way, 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 actually commands husbands and wives, “Do not deprive each other.” The subject is sexual intimacy and the goal is to avoid temptation (see verse 5).
A healthy marital sex life can help us avoid unhealthy diversions.
For single guys and gals, the biblical admonition is similar: “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:9 ESV)
For help creating a better marriage, check out my articles Five Keys to Stay Happily Married for 34 Years and Five MORE Keys to Stay Happily Married for 34 Years.
05. Find an Accountability Partner
“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT)
Get help—an accountability partner, a Christian counselor or a support group.
Not only can these hold us accountable, they can also give good advice, pray for us, point us to helpful resources and so on.
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Mark Alan Williams is a speaker, an author, and a church leader intent on helping people maximize their life. Since 1981 he has been starting churches, writing resources and training leaders around the world.