Introduction
Young Christian men often find themselves at a crossroads, trying to balance their faith, ambitions, and purpose. It’s a time filled with questions and uncertainties, where they long for guidance, companionship, and the reassurance that they’re not alone in their Christian walk.
As Alyse Nelson, CEO of Vital Voices, wisely said, “Emerging leaders need mentors to guide them but also a network of peers to reassure them that they are not on the path alone.” These words capture the essence of what we’re about to explore—the powerful impact of peer mentoring within a Christian context. This is the story of a Peer Mentoring Group (PMG), a group of young men who came together in 2012 from various backgrounds and levels of education, bound by their shared faith and whose ripples have touched the hearts, minds, and souls of its members.
Embarking on a Faithful Journey
As we explore the pages of this publication, our main goal is simple: to share the inspiring journey of the Peer Mentoring Group (PMG for short). We want to show how peer mentoring has a powerful impact on young Christian men, no matter their educational backgrounds. We hope to inspire and guide others who may want to embark on a similar journey of faith and accountability.
We invite you to discover the strength of Christian peer mentoring, to read the stories of those who have walked this path, and to gain wisdom from their experiences. This publication is a testament to the strength of faith, the power of friendship, and the guiding hand of God in our lives.
Come with us on this incredible journey where faith and friendship come together. Join us in learning about the Peer Mentoring Group—a testament to the life-changing influence of faith, fellowship, and accountability.
Seeds of Faith: Inception and Inspiration
In December 2012, Tunde Ladipo had an idea. that would spark a transformative movement. He gathered a group of young men, 80% of whom were alumni of the Lagos Varsity Christian Union (LVCU). These men had crossed paths and served in various capacities within the union. Recognising the importance of continued support and accountability in their Christian walk, they came together with a shared vision. This initiative marked the beginning of the Peer Mentoring Group (PMG), a fellowship rooted in the values and bonds formed during their time at LVCU.
The Peer Mentoring Group (PMG) officially began its journey in 2012. According to Tunde Ladipo, Its founding members included Tunde Ladipo, Oluwaseyi Fabunmi, Adetola Adegbite, Akinwunmi Akowonjo, Chibuikem Atueyi, Olugbenga Awomodu. They had forged deep connections during their time in the Lagos Varsity Christian Union, serving in diverse capacities. Their shared experiences and unwavering faith laid the foundation for what would become a remarkable journey.
(2018 – Gbenga Awomodu’s Baby Christening)
Tunde Ladipo’s vision was clear: to create a supportive community where like-minded young men could continue their Christian journeys beyond the confines of their university days. To him:
“It’s a calling, a ministry to do something different. What can you do differently? It’s like sustaining t fellowship and contact with people from similar backgrounds, and that’s how it started.”
This desire to maintain fellowship and remain accountable to each other gave birth to PMG. He further added: “Peer mentoring is an interaction with your peers where you have some commonalities. In simple terms, it’s accountability amongst a group of friends. So that’s how it came up.”
In its early days, PMG consisted of about ten members, all bound by their faith and shared experiences. They rotated as hosts for their meetings, forming a secure and encouraging space where they could openly discuss their faith, life experiences, and personal goals. This forum became a hub for mutual growth and support as they navigated the various stages of life together. Interestingly, PMG never gave itself an official name beyond “The Peer Mentoring Group” or simply PMG. The name reflected their humility and their focus on the essence of their fellowship rather than a formal title.
Growing Together: Navigating Life’s Seasons
As the years passed, the PMG underwent a remarkable evolution. Members transitioned from young bachelors to married individuals with growing families. This transformation was a testament to the enduring bonds that the group had forged. The PMG remained a constant in their lives, providing not only spiritual support but also a sense of community as they navigated the challenges and joys of marriage and parenthood. The group’s ability to adapt and support one another through these life changes reflected the strength of their fellowship.
One of the hallmark features of the PMG’s journey was the annual retreats. Initially hosted in person at specific locations, these retreats played a pivotal role in strengthening the bonds among members.
(2020 – Group Dinner)
Adetola Adegbite, one of the founding members, highlighted the importance of the peer mentoring retreats, stating, “I believe one of the key things we did right in the early years was involving our families—our wives and kids—early on. We would go away for end-of-year retreats as a complete family unit. This allowed our spouses to interact, engage, and understand what the group is about over time.”
However, the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic and the migration/relocation of some members outside of Lagos and Nigeria necessitated a transition to hybrid and purely virtual retreats. Despite the physical distance, the essence of these retreats remained intact. They continued to serve as a space for spiritual renewal, reflection, and the strengthening of familial ties among PMG members and their families.
The transition to virtual meetings and retreats presented its own challenges. Managing different time zones and conflicting commitments became an issue. However, the PMG persevered, leveraging technology to maintain their connection and support one another through these changes. The pandemic posed unforeseen obstacles, but the group’s determination and adaptability allowed them to overcome these challenges and emerge stronger.
Welcoming New Voices: Expanding the PMG Family
In the midst of the PMG’s journey, Olawale Perfect became a welcomed addition to the group. His inclusion highlighted the group’s dedication to growth and inclusivity. While the founding members had shared a unique bond forged through their university experiences, embracing new members allowed the PMG to expand its horizons and continue its mutual support and accountability mission. Importantly, the group remained steadfast in preserving the ethos of trust, confidentiality, and openness that had been the bedrock of their fellowship. It was a testament to their commitment to sustaining the PMG’s legacy while embracing the opportunities that new members brought to the table.
Setting Sail: Objectives and Commitments
From its inception, the Peer Mentoring Group (PMG) held steadfast to a set of clear objectives centred around accountability and personal growth. The group firmly believed that accountability serves as the cornerstone of personal development. In creating a nurturing environment where like-minded young Christian men could hold each other accountable, the PMG aimed to nurture individual and collective growth. Proverbs 27:17 says: “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” This unwavering commitment to accountability became a guiding principle that defined the group’s remarkable journey.
(2015 – Outdoor Family Hangout)
Over the years, the PMG has not only met but exceeded its objectives, leaving an enduring impact on its members. The profound influence of peer mentoring in fostering accountability and personal growth cannot be overstated. Consequently, the PMG has been witness to transformative changes in the lives of its members, with far-reaching consequences for various aspects of their personal and spiritual development.
Another founding member, Akinwunmi Akowonjo, reflects on this commitment and development, saying, “We all have been through the highs and lows of life, and it’s reassuring to know we had a place to bring the deep issues and insecurities. We had a safe space to discuss, especially during those waiting periods, even when we got married.” This quote highlights the safe and supportive environment that the PMG provided, allowing members to address their deepest concerns and grow together in faith and fellowship.
The impact of the PMG extends across multiple dimensions, touching the very core of its members’ lives. Through peer mentoring, the group has nurtured a strong sense of responsibility and mutual support among its members. The result? An empowered community of young Christian men who inspire, challenge, and uplift one another as they navigate the complexities of life. The PMG’s influence has been profound, with members experiencing substantial personal growth, spiritual enrichment, and a deepened sense of purpose.
The PMG’s objectives and unwavering commitment to accountability have yielded an incredible journey marked by transformative outcomes.
Seyi Fabunmi emphasises the power of accountability, saying, “Accountability helps you grow and helps others grow. It means you can share what you think people shouldn’t hear because you’re accountable. Someone is holding you by the hand. There’s nothing more reassuring in life than knowing there are people there for you, even at your lowest moment.”
The power of peer mentoring has driven individual development and cultivated a community that embodies the principles of support, encouragement, and growth.
Passing the Torch: Guiding the Next Generation
For young men seeking to replicate the success of the PMG, it is essential to begin with a clear vision and purpose. The journey towards creating and sustaining accountability groups like PMG involves several key steps:
- Define Your Objectives: Start by identifying your group’s core objectives. What are your goals, and what do you hope to achieve through this community of accountability?
- Select Like-Minded Peers: Gather individuals who share your faith, beliefs, and values. A sense of commonality is crucial for building trust and fostering open communication.
- Establish Ground Rules: Set clear expectations and boundaries for your group. Define the terms of engagement, ensuring that members understand the importance of trust, confidentiality, and respect.
- Meet Regularly: Consistency is key. Establish a regular meeting schedule, whether in person or virtually, to facilitate meaningful discussions and progress tracking.
- Share Goals and Challenges: Encourage members to openly share their goals, challenges, and aspirations. Accountability thrives on transparency. “Don’t join a peer mentoring group if you’re not ready to open up. It’s not about learning others’ weaknesses; it’s a place where everyone needs help. The atmosphere should be free, calm, and safe. You must open up and allow others to do the same. (Seyi Fabunmi)
- Embrace Technology: Leverage technology to bridge geographical gaps, especially in today’s interconnected world. Virtual meetings and communication platforms can help maintain the group’s cohesion.
- Support Each Other: Beyond accountability, create a supportive environment where members can offer advice, resources, and encouragement to one another.
- Maintain a Strong Ethos: Uphold the principles of trust, confidentiality, and openness within the group. These values form the foundation of a successful accountability community.
- Adapt to Change: Be prepared to adapt and evolve, especially when faced with challenges such as geographic dispersion or unexpected circumstances like a pandemic. “It’s essential to be adaptable. Different things happen at various stages of life, and as things evolve, one should be able to adjust to the needs of the mentoring group” (Tunde Ladipo)
- Incorporate Family: If possible, involve family members in group activities. This inclusivity strengthens members’ bonds and extends accountability benefits to spouses and children.
In the Footsteps of Faith: The PMG Legacy
In conclusion, the Peer Mentoring Group (PMG) embarked on a transformative journey that showcased the enduring power of accountability, faith, and community. Over the past decade, the PMG has demonstrated the remarkable impact of peer mentoring on personal and spiritual growth. The group has steadfastly committed to accountability and mutual support through evolving challenges and changing circumstances.
For young men seeking to learn more about mentoring, Mentoring Matters by Rick Lewis and The Man In The Mirror: Solving the 24 Problems Men Face by Patrick Morley are excellent resources. The Man In The Mirror provides valuable insights and practical advice on navigating personal and spiritual growth, covering topics such as identity, relationships, finances, time, and temperament. Similarly, Mentoring Matters highlights how mentoring can effectively address many of these challenges faced by today’s Christian men.
Akinwunmi Akowonjo stated, “Success comes when there is a genuine desire for each other’s success. It’s not about just listening to each other’s problems for gossip, but about sincerely wanting and helping each other to succeed.” This quote underscores the authenticity and supportive nature of the PMG community.
(2019 – At the Ladipos’ Naming Ceremony)
The PMG’s story serves as a compelling testament to the significance of accountability and community in the lives of young Christian men. It underscores the idea that emerging leaders need mentors and a network of peers to walk alongside them on their journey. The PMG’s legacy highlights the profound truth that when individuals come together to pursue shared goals, they can achieve extraordinary personal and spiritual growth.