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Commentary | “Letter to a Son” by Richard Mofe Damijo

by obam
written by obam

Dear Son,
I’m writing to you today because there is no day “internationally” set aside for the “boy child”, so, tired of looking on in horror as you constantly shock and embarrass me, this is from daddy to you.
I’m shocked at how many of you carry yourselves here on social media. I am shocked at the things you L O L at. I am worried at the way you speak to and about women. I am frightened at the kinds of things that inspire and motivate you.
I am concerned that the women who get your attention are not the virtuous, brilliant types but the frivolous party, skimpily clad ones.
I am disappointed to see that the pictures you fall over yourselves double tapping are not the inspirational quotes or of clean, beautiful modest women but of women with their breasts, thighs and bottoms spilling over.
I cringe at how many of you blatantly use swear and curse words at women like it makes you cool.
I am distraught to see that many of you insinuate that a man who loves and stays with one woman is a wimp, that a man who publicly displays and speaks about his love for his woman is a “jew man”, that a man who is more interested in deeply spiritual and intellectual pursuits should be shamed…
I am worried son, deeply worried.
My dear son, being uncouth, indecent, unintelligent is NOT cool and contrary to what you think, the man who stays on social media looking for naked ladies to validate, smart people to shame, brilliant people to tear down, celebrities to attack are NOT men but little boys battling low self-esteem issues.
A real man loves God and is not ashamed to show it. He loves and respects women. He does not ask for nudes and if any misguided woman sends him her nudes respectfully deletes it and not use it as a blackmailing tool. A real man reads, yes, he reads a lot. He picks his mentors wisely, thinks before he speaks and reads his comments over and over before he hits send.
Dear son, do not let the “anonymity” of social media make you a fool rather use it to shine and be kind, reasonable and sensible at all times because that is the man I desire to see you be.
Love,
Daddy
#RMDSaysSo

This post was originally posted by Nigerian A-List actor, Richard Mofe Damijo via his Instagram page (@mofedamijo)

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Bankole Williams | 10 Tips for Overcoming Glossophobia

by obam
written by obam

Did you know that the highest ranked phobia in the world is GLOSSOPHOBIA? Oh wait!… I hope you know what Glossophobia is. It is a common term in my field and it is one of the phobias I help people overcome. Glossophobia, (as fancy as it may sound) is defined as the fear of public speaking. It might also be the fear of speaking in general.

Glossophobia is a phobia many people suffer from. According to research, one out of every four persons suffer from Glossophobia. Can you guess the scary stat that amounts to? That means about 75% of the whole world suffers from this phobia; Putting it as the most common phobia to ever exist, and one that is readily visible across every age group, tribe, culture, social status, nationality, and so on.

According to research, people’s number one fear is public speaking (Glossophobia), number two is death (Necrophobia). Meaning, some people would rather be lying in the coffin at the funeral than face a large crowd for the eulogy. (Choi!) The term “Glossophobia” is derived from two Greek words – “Glossa” which means “tongue or language” and “Phobos”, which is the personification of fear in Greek.

After all said and said (Lol!), the truth is that the number fear in the whole world is just an illusion. Public speaking is not meant to be feared at all – and that’s the irony of life. Ok, come to think of this: If you are standing on a podium, facing the audience. Who is in charge? You or the audience? (You see?!) If during your talk, you point to someone to stand up, maybe for an illustration or something. More often than not, the person (however shy and reluctant) would respond (obey).

Did you know that a lot of great speakers today didn’t just suddenly appear at the point where many people take them as public speaking mentors? In fact, a lot of public speakers suffered from Glossophobia. You’ll hear statements like “I could not stand and face a crowd to talk, even at 21” “Every time I had to face the crowd, I felt like I was going to pee myself” “The first time I heard the sound of my own voice from a microphone, I decided that was the last time”. Real statements from people who went on to become celebrated speakers.

You could then ask – How then did they become such crisp and excellent speakers? Well, the answer is nothing but a combination of a Change in Mindset, Investment and Practice – Simple! Changing how one sees the act of public speaking is really important, just as investing in personal development, and attending seminars and trainings. But you might not see results if you don’t practice. Practice makes perfect, and public speaking isn’t an exemption.

Public speaking is a skill and we need to understand there is the art and science to it; especially if you’re looking to take up a career in public speaking. If it were not so, there wouldn’t have been schools and coaching academies, including mine, teaching people on the science, art, and business of public speaking.

But just for a quick glance through, here are some quick tips to overcome Glossophobia, and get that WOW feedback.

1. Relax; take deep breaths and release the air slowly

2. Get Organized

3. Eliminate Fear of Rejection (sometimes this requires therapy)

4. Speak to a mock audience (your friends, partner, parents, etc.) and ask for sincere feedback

5. Record Yourself and Get Used to Your Voice

6. Pick a Subject that is of Immense Interest to You

7. Have a routine of positive affirmations that serves as an anchor before you go up e.g say stuff like ‘It’s showtime….”

8. Visualize the end of the speech before you begin. See the ovation and feel the positive energy of the great feedback you will get

9. Practice, and practice some more. You’re only as good as your best rehearsal.

10. Attend Public Speaking Classes.

Hope these quick points help.

There is an interesting connecting between speaking and success. It’s imperative you master the use of your tongue. God gave us mouths to speak (not just to eat, lol). Glossophobia can be overcome.

Cheers folks

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Sustaining Your Business through Hard Times

by obam
written by obam

You’re making huge strides with your business, you’ve moved from your home office to a small office around the corner and are thinking about expanding the more. This is good, but comes with the feeling of foreboding at times–you feel like you’re swimming struggling to catch a break, with the increasing costs of running the business, more expenses, etc. What do you do exactly?

In his post “You Can Never Elude the Shark, But You Can Learn to Swim With It”, Jack Skeels, CEO and Founder of Agency Agile wrote about how he learnt how to swim with the shark.

Read on to understand more and pick lessons to sustain you through the hard times in business.

I’m unpacking my “desk box” in our first real office — an executive office space — and a vague anxiety grows stronger. It is 1991 and my company, Product Data Integration Technologies, was growing rapidly — within just a few short years we would make the Inc. 500 — and I felt like something big and ominous was stalking me. I told my partners, “I feel like there is a shark following us around, ready to eat us if we slow down!” They looked at me like I had three heads and laughed.

When it was just a few of us doing and teaching database design, all we needed was to pay the mortgage and have some money left for food and wine. With our fixed costs close to zero, we were like a small sailboat with a huge sail — the slightest breeze of revenue drove us forward like a speedboat. A classic bootstrap, we started in my partners’ guest house. Our puny 18” x 24” whiteboard represented a major purchase.

But we had just sailed into deeper waters. There were five of us to feed now — and two more on the way — plus a $2,500 per month rent payment, new computers and other expenses. That’s the shark. One of my many hats was CFO, and I lived in constant calculation of receivables needed by payday and the new biz pipeline that would keep the money flowing. From what I could tell, the shark was very happy that we moved to the new office because it was more likely that we would become its next meal.

Business went well for the next few years, but the shark grew as we did — from a tiny surf shark to a Great White. The ominous feeling really intensified as our staff reached 60 people. With 85 percent of revenues going to payroll, you could reach back and touch the shark’s teeth at times.
Ultimately, we survived, selling to a software company in 2000. Both I and the shark moved on. Today, in my new startup, we have about five people. So when the shark swam by — and I wasn’t surprised or all that scared — I realized that I had become a better entrepreneur through what he taught me.

The shark never sleeps.

I had fantasized that having my own company would mean more time off, less pressure and a calmer lifestyle. That didn’t happen. Instead, I became the meanest, freakiest micromanager I could ever imagine. My new boss (me) would even wake me in the middle of the night, pretty much every night. Sharks don’t sleep — and you may not either.

The shark likes fatter companies.

Once you get to 30 people, it seems that the answer to every problem is to hire another manager. Even in creative businesses today, I often see one manager for every two or three employees. You’ll swim slower, dragging all those managers around. The shark smells all that high-paid meat and just swims faster.

Big sharks do more damage than small sharks.

Higher sales mean more delivery pressure and people. Missing a $25k payroll that’s mostly partner pay is very different from missing a $250k payroll where people’s mortgages, tuition payments, hospital bills and more depend on it.

It’s rare to leave the shark behind, let alone kill it; especially in a service business. But as in nature, the shark is a vital part of the entrepreneurial ecosystem. The shark actually made mine a stronger company. I learned to swim both faster and better. One of the key tenets that I share with other CEOs is that growing your sales often just grows the shark. You won’t widen the gap between you and him by just selling more, but you can by managing smarter.

Grow your current customers.
Many companies make the mistake of chasing the shiny metal object of “net-new” growth — new clients and/or new services. That can cost you current customers and sharks smell that blood a mile away. Deepen the relationships you have; they are the best platform for growing your services.

Stop promoting your best.
It’s easy to confuse reward with promotion and promote a top performer into management. That’s like turning the team’s best swimmer into a coach or cheerleader. It makes the team slower, as a body of business research has validated. The new coach has no time to swim, and no training for management. Chaos erupts. The shark is drawn to your thrashing in the water.

Teach them all to swim like you.
You’re a natural self-starter — motivated and reaching for challenge and responsibility. It’s a safe bet that all your people have that in them too. That’s why they’re working for your startup. Channel their inner entrepreneurs. When you feel the need to hire a manager just to make sure that client status reports go out on time, ask if someone wouldn’t mind just owning that and making sure it gets done.

The laws of natural selection apply in business much as in nature. The shark helps to keep healthy companies focused. By taking fat, slow companies out of the market, it helps leaner, self-managing teams learn to swim faster, gaining on their own momentum. As long as you keep your team in shape and remain focused, you can swim with the shark forever. In the end, it will make you a better entrepreneur.


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Book Summary | Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t

by obam
written by obam

Executive Summary

good_to_great_byJim Collins, already established as one of the most influential management consultants, further established his credibility with the wildly popular Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…and Others Don’t, originally published in 2001. The book went on to be one of the bestsellers in the genre, and it is now widely regarded as a modern classic of management theory. Collins takes up a daunting challenge in the book: identifying and evaluating the factors and variables that allow a small fraction of companies to make the transition from merely good to truly great. ‘Great,’ an admittedly subjective term, is operationally defined according to a number of metrics, including, specifically, a financial performance that exceeded the market average by several orders of magnitude over a sustained period of time. Using these criteria, Collins and his research team exhaustively catalogued the business literature, identifying a handful of companies that fulfilled their predetermined criteria for greatness. Then, the defining characteristics that differentiated these ‘great’ firms from their competitors were quantified and analyzed.The resulting data are presented in Good to Great in compelling detail. Over the course of 9 chapters, Collins addresses a number of management, personnel, and operational practices, behaviors, and attitudes that are both conducive and antithetical to the good-to-great transition. One overarching theme that links together virtually all of Collins’ arguments is the need to define a narrowly focused objective and field of competency and then focus all of the company’s resources toward that area of strength. Repeatedly, Collins warns that straying too far from a company’s established strengths is inimical to the attainment of greatness. Finally, Collins links the findings of Good to Great to the conclusions he reached in his previous book, Built to Last, which focused on the factors that define companies that survive in the long-term, meshing both sets of results into an overarching framework for enduring success.

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1: Good is the Enemy of Great

The first chapter of the book lays out the criteria that Collins and his research team used in selecting the companies that served as the basis of the meta-analysis that provided the findings set forth in the book. The most important factor in the selection process was a period of growth and sustained success that far outpaced the market or industry average. Based on the stated criteria, the companies that were selected for inclusion were Abbott, Fannie Mae, Circuit City, Gillette, Kimberly-Clark, Kroger, Nucor, Philip Morris, Pitney Bowes,Walgreens, and Wells Fargo.Collins also offers a few of the most significant findings gleaned from the study. Of particular note are the many indications that factors such as CEO compensation, technology, mergers and acquisitions, and change management initiatives played relatively minor roles in fostering the Good to Great process. Instead, Collins found that successes in three main areas, which he terms disciplined people, disciplined thought, and disciplined action, were likely the most significant factors in determining a company’s ability to achieve greatness.

Image credit: www.salesforce.com

Chapter 2: Level 5 Leadership

In this chapter, Collins begins the process of identifying and further explicating the unique factors and variables that differentiate good and great companies. One of the most significant differences, he asserts, is the quality and nature of leadership in the firm. Collins goes on to identify “Level 5 leadership” as a common characteristic of the great companies assessed in the study. This type of leadership forms the top level of a 5-level hierarchy that ranges from merely competent supervision to strategic executive decision-making.By further studying the behaviors and attitudes of so-called Level 5 leaders, Collins found that many of those classified in this group displayed an unusual mix of intense determination and profound humility. These leaders often have a long-term personal sense of investment in the company and its success, often cultivated through a career-spanning climb up the company’s ranks. The personal ego and individual financial gain are not as important as the long-term benefit of the team and the company to true Level 5 leaders. As such, Collins asserts that the much-touted trend of bringing in a celebrity CEO to turn around a flailing firm is usually not conducive to fostering the transition from Good to Great.

Chapter 3: First Who, Then What

The next factor that Collins identifies as part of the Good to Great process is the nature of the leadership team. Specifically, Collins advances the concept that the process of securing high-quality, high-talent individuals with Level 5 leadership abilities must be undertaken before an overarching strategy can be developed. With the right people in the right positions, Collins contends that many of the management problems that plague companies and sap valuable resources will automatically dissipate. As such, he argues, firms seeking to make the Good to Great transition may find it worthwhile to expend extra energy and time on personnel searches and decision-making.Collins also underscores the importance of maintaining rigorousness in all personnel decisions. He recommends moving potentially failing employees and managers to new positions, but not hesitating to remove personnel who are not actively contributing. He also recommends that hiring should be delayed until an absolutely suitable candidate has been identified. Hewing to both of these guidelines, Collins claims, will likely save time, effort, and resources in the long-term.

Chapter 4: Confront the Brutal Facts (Yet Never Lose Faith)

Another key element of some companies’ unique ability to make the transition from Good to Great is the willingness to identify and assess defining facts in the company and in the larger business environment. In today’s market, trends in consumer preferences are constantly changing, and the inability to keep apace with these changes often results in company failure. Using the example of an extended comparative analysis of Kroger and A & P, Collins observes that Kroger recognized the trend towards modernization in the grocery industry and adjusted its business model accordingly, although doing so required a complete transformation of the company and its stores. A & P, on the other hand, resisted large-scale change, and thus guaranteed its own demise.Collins outlines a four-step process to promote awareness of emerging trends and potential problems: 1) Lead with questions, not answers; 2) Engage in dialogue and debate, not coercion; 3) Conduct autopsies without blame; and 4) Build red flag mechanisms that turn information into information that cannot be ignored.

Chapter 5: The Hedgehog Concept (Simplicity Within the Three Circles)

In this chapter, Collins uses the metaphor of the hedgehog to illustrate the seemingly contradictory principle that simplicity can sometimes lead to greatness. When confronted by predators, the hedgehog’s simple but surprisingly effective response is to roll up into a ball. While other predators, such as the fox, may be impressively clever, few can devise a strategy that is effective enough to overcome the hedgehog’s simple, repetitive response.Similarly, Collins asserts, the way to make the transformation from Good to Great is often not doing many things well, but instead, doing one thing better than anyone else in the world. It may take time to identify the single function that will be a particular firm’s “hedgehog concept,” but those who do successfully identify it are often rewarded with singular success. In order to help expedite this process, Collins suggests using the following three criteria: 1) Determine what you can be best in the world at and what you cannot be best in the world at; 2) Determine what drives your economic engine; and 3) Determine what you are deeply passionate about.

Chapter 6: A Culture of Discipline

Another defining characteristic of the companies that Collins defined as great in his study was an overarching organizational culture of discipline. He is quick to point out that a culture of discipline is not to be confused with a strict authoritarian environment; instead, Collins is referring to an organization in which each manager and staff member is driven by an unrelenting inner sense of determination. In this type of organization, each individual functions as an entrepreneur, with a deeply rooted personal investment in both their own work and the company’s success.Although this discipline will manifest itself in a high standard of quality in the work that is produced by managers and employees alike, its most significant outcome will be an almost fanatical devotion to the objectives outlined in the “hedgehog concept” exercises. Disciplined workers will be better equipped to hew to these goals with a single-minded intensity that, according to Collins, will foster the transformation from merely Good to Great. In addition, the author asserts, it is important that within this overarching culture of discipline, every team member is afforded the degree of personal empowerment and latitude that is necessary to ensure that they will be able to go to unheard-of extremes to bring the firm’s envisioned objectives into existence.

Chapter 7: Technology Accelerators

Today, many businesses have come to depend upon technology to increase efficiency, reduce overhead, and maximize competitive advantage. However, Collins cautions that technology should not be regarded as a potential panacea for all that ails a company. The folly of this kind of thinking was revealed in the aftermath of the crash of the tech bubble in the early 2000s. The market correction threw into sharp relief the differences between sustainable uses of the Internet to extend established businesses and ill-planned, unviable online start-ups.Collins contends that the good-to-great companies approach the prospect of new and emerging technologies with the same prudence and careful deliberation that characterizes all of their other business decisions. Further, these companies tend to apply technology in a manner that is reflective of their “hedgehog concepts” — typically by selecting and focusing solely upon the development of a few technologies that are fundamentally compatible with their established strengths and objectives. Collins characterizes the ideal approach to technology with the following cycle: “Pause — Think — Crawl — Walk — Run.”

Chapter 8: The Flywheel and the Doom Loop

In this chapter, Collins describes two cycles that demonstrate the way that business decisions tend to accumulate incrementally in either an advantageous or a disadvantageous manner. Both, the author emphasizes, accrue over time. Despite the popular misperception that business success or failure often occurs suddenly, Collins asserts that it more typically occurs over the course of years, and that both only transpire after sufficient positive or negative momentum has been accrued.Collins describes the advantageous business cycle that, in some cases, can foster the transition from Good to Great as “the flywheel effect.” By making decisions and taking actions that reinforce and affirm the company’s “hedgehog” competencies, executives initiate positive momentum. This, in turn, results in the accumulation of tangible positive outcomes, which serve to energize and earn the investment and loyalty of the staff. This revitalization of the team serves to further build momentum. If the cycle continues to repeat in this manner, the transition from Good to Great is likely to transpire. In contrast, the doom loop is characterized by reactive decision-making, an overextension into too many diverse areas of concentration, following short-lived trends, frequent changes in leadership and personnel, loss of morale, and disappointing results.

Chapter 9: From Good to Great to Built to Last

In the concluding chapter of Good to Great, Collins makes a connection between this book and his previous work, Built to Last, which represented the findings of a six-year study into the factors that determined whether a new company would survive in the long-term. First and foremost, Collins contends that companies need a set of core values in order to achieve the kind of long-term, sustainable success that may lead to greatness. Companies need to exist for a higher purpose than mere profit generation in order to transcend the category of merely good. According to Collins, this purpose does not have to be specific — even if the shared values that compel the company toward success are as open-ended as being the best at what they do and achieving excellence consistently, that may be sufficient as long as the team members are equally dedicated to the same set of values.Although many of the conclusions of both of the books overlap, Collins notes that Good to Great should not be seen as the follow-up to Built to Last, which focuses on sustaining success in the long-term. Instead, Good to Great actually functions as the prequel to Built to Last. First, a company should focus on developing the foundation that is necessary to work toward greatness. Then, they can begin to apply the principles of longevity that are set forth in Built to Last.

This Bok Summary is Courtesy WikiSummaries. You can also download a PDF alternative summary here.

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Commentary | To Those Reaching Out for the New – by Pastor Poju Oyemade

by obam
written by obam

Nothing wrong with a new generation of ministers wanting to take the Church in a new direction. The Church in Nigeria is ripe for a new wave of the Spirit. However, it won’t be realized by attacking the old, but by defining and substantiating the new with prophetic scriptures.

You will fail if your voice is divisive. It must be substantiated with scriptures from a heart void of offense. Once you start with a voice of attack and not words of knowledge, not with speech seasoned with salt ministering grace but with bitterness defiling, you lose 95% of the people you want to reach.
Understand this also, ministries are not born on the pages of social media but in the place of travailing prayer. If your soul hasn’t labored in prayer over the sound of the abundance of rain you have heard in your spirit, you will only have a “near birth” experience i.e clouds without water.
For those who have received in their heart a new direction, don’t make the mistake Moses made. He tried to effect it with his hand and committed murder pushing back on the timing of the fulfillment of prophecy. Murder in [the] spiritual sense is slanderous speech, stop it. Whatever has entered your heart, sheath your sword, and enter into the groanings of the Spirit.

Every generation ofChristianss needs a wave of the Spirit. Every new generation must experience a strong move of the HolySpirit for it is through that wave, ministries are not only born but gain the reach required to make a strong impact and enter into the harvest of the multitudes.
However, let us look into some of the principles that a younger generation reaching out for their destinies must embrace.
1. Remove not the ancient landmarks nor enter into the field of the fatherless.

Proverbs 23:10 “Remove not the old landmark; and enter not into the fields of the fatherless:”
Proverbs 22:28 “Remove not the ancient landmark, which thy fathers have set.”

The first law is this, do not remove the ancient landmarks the fathers have set. Every generation is raised to do a work but they also leave unfinished some of the things they might have seen in the spirit. The incoming generation builds on what has been done, they perfect and complete the work. This is the method of God, even nature teaches that.
Every living person is a product of people who lived in a generation before their’s, no one drops out of heaven. No plant nor animal drops out of heaven they come out of existing creatures.
It is, therefore, a pure lack of understanding for people to “insult’ the fathers in the name of building something new. It will end in emptiness. Those who will succeed will cover the previous generation in robes of honour while they perfect that which may be lacking.
Moses’s ministry and calling was to fulfill a vision that God had given Abraham 400 years before. Your calling is from heaven, but, understand this, your assignment is here on the earth. Joshua was called to finish a work started in Moses, what Moses saw but never entered into, Joshua completed. You are called from heaven but your assignment is to perfect and complete something already on the earth. Insulting people is no assignment from heaven; perfecting a work is the assignment.
Find out on whose field/fields you are to work and let your gifting express itself through an existing inheritance on the earth.
Jesus put it this way to His disciples in John chapter 4:34 – 38:

“Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work.
Say not ye, There are yet four months, and then cometh harvest? behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest.
And he that reapeth receiveth wages, and gathereth fruit unto life eternal: that both he that soweth and he that reapeth may rejoice together. And herein is that saying true, One soweth, and another reapeth. I sent you to reap that whereon ye bestowed no labour: other men laboured, and ye are entered into their labours”.

Isaiah speaks in chapter 49 on inheriting desolate places. This literally means “abandoned properties in the spirit”. Several works have been done, written in books, those who sowed them are waiting on someone to reap their labors and finish the work. This is what every generation is called to do. I believe the generation that perfects this will bring the body into maturity.
Let it be on record that in the past the generations who rose up saying, “we are the Joshua generation, Moses is dead”, experience has shown that “Moses” continued to live and it was the so-called Joshua’s that “died”. The reason is this, it was God who told Joshua, “Moses my servant is dead arise”. It wasn’t Joshua who went out pronouncing Moses dead. It is dangerous to curse elders.
Leviticus 19:32 “Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head, and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the Lord”.
If you are called, it is to perfect and complete but never to curse.

This post was originally published by Pastor Poju in two parts on his Facebook page here and here.

Photo credit: www.insightsforliving.org

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7 Habits to Cultivate and Nurture as a Small Business Owner

by obam
written by obam

These are important questions someone who wants to start a business must ask him/herself.

“What are the things I need to know as a small business owner?” “What are the things I need to learn now?” “What helpful habits need I start honing now?” “What are the habits successful business owners have that would be beneficial to me in order to keep my business growing?”

These are important questions someone who wants to start a business must ask him/herself.
John Jantsch in his blogpost “7 essential habits of successful business owners” listed them thus:

1. Get up early:
Most of us know this, right? A lot of people are up early anyway, even though it is to prepare and then rush off to meet the company’s bus at 4am or to rush off so as to beat the traffic and all. So, it is not much of a problem. For a business owner who doesn’t have to rush off to work early, you might find waking up early an inconvenience, especially if you don’t wake up early on a normal day. A lot of successful business owners get a lot of work done between 5am and 7am–clients’ work, journaling, planning for the new week, meditating, thinking up ways of improving the business or getting out of a tough rut. You accomplish more in the wee hours of the morning.

2. Focus on the important first:
Hmmnnn, for non-business owners, there are distractions, not to talk of business owners. You want to get a lot of work done, but you keep getting emails, BBM pings, Whatsapp messages and even Facebook messages which you aren’t sure you want to ignore or keep till later. Why? Because they could be from important clients or potential ones. You need to look for a way to get your work done and on time too. Focus on what you feel, think and know is important first.

3. Obsess over value
Make this your priority and your clientele would eat out of the palm of your hand. Excellence should be your watchword. Once people realise that what you offer them is of premium quality, they will patronise you in droves and spread good word about your product or service

4. Take care of the plant (which is you):
You wouldn’t want to keel over in a faint one day, would you? High blood pressure, over-exertion, talking in your sleep, etc. owning and running a business is fun but stressful and demanding both physically and mentally. You need to take things easy, if you don’t, you would have stress written over you. Do you wake up with work as the first thought on your mind? Or has your partner told you that you were talking in your sleep…” count the amount of soft drinks in the fridge”, or “make sure you double check that Mr. Tamuno would still join us for lunch to discuss the details of the contract”. All said with a very serious attitude. If yes, you need a holiday. You will not accomplish much in this state of mind. You need to reenergize and revitalize yourself. Believe you me, you need it. Exercise, rest, eat healthy and don’t skip meals if possible

5. Fill the gaps:
Find out from your workers and clients what it is you are not doing well or at all, what else is expected you, your product or your service. Ask your customers questions. What is it they need? How can you serve them better? Etc, you need to understand your clients, their world and how they get their information about your products or services.

6. Get out of the office:
Some days you just feel like holing up in the office and not seeing anyone at all. Yes, this is actually normal. But if it occurs all the time, it will tell on you as no man can live in isolation. You need to get out of the office, mingle. In doing this, you might get new contacts, learn, grow, gain key partners, new ideas/perspectives about your product/service or anything.

7. Love to learn, learn to teach:
Most business owners love to learn but they aren’t particularly good teachers. They don’t know how to pass the knowledge across per se. They feel they don’t have the time to teach their employees a few things. If as a business owner, you love to learn and you can teach/pass knowledge across to your employees, you would have your employees working without you having to look over the shoulders or having to watch out for the ever-present mistakes.

Do you agree? Let us have your take and what other habits you think/know would help other business owners become more successful.

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John C. Maxwell | The 5 Levels of Leadership

by obam
written by obam

A business executive. A softball coach. A classroom teacher. A volunteer coordinator. A parent. Whether you’re one of these things or all of these things, one thing remains true: You are a leader.

But where are you on your leadership journey, and where do you go from here? Over my years of teaching about leadership, that question exists at the heart of so many leaders. Everyone wants to know where they stand and how to get to the next level. And you are probably no different!

That’s why I developed the 5 Levels of Leadership paradigm in my book, Developing the Leader Within You, and then expanded it in my book, The 5 Levels of Leadership. I wanted to help leaders understand and increase their effectiveness. And while there is more to this teaching than space in this blog, today I want to offer a general overview of the 5 Levels as a reminder that you are still on your way as a leader – and so am I! So feel free to bookmark this page or print it out as a quick guide for your journey as a leader.

THE 5 LEVELS OF LEADERSHIP

LEVEL 1 — POSITION

The lowest level of leadership—the entry level, if you will—is Position. It’s the only level that requires no ability or effort to achieve. After all, anyone can be appointed to a position! While nothing is wrong with having a leadership position, everything is wrong with relying only on that position to get people to follow. That’s because it only works if you have leverage (such as job security or a paycheck) over your followers. At Level 1, people only follow if they believe that they have to.

People who remain on the position level may find it difficult to work with volunteers. Why? Because position does not automatically result in influence, and volunteers are aware that they don’t have to follow anyone. They truly only follow if they want to.

But the news is not all bad about this level. It is a prime place for you to begin investing in your growth and potential as a leader. Use your time at this level learning to lead yourself – through priorities and self-discipline – and you’ll be ready to move to the next level.

LEVEL 2 — PERMISSION

Level 2 is based on relationship. At this level, people choose to follow because they want to. In other words, they give the leader Permission to lead them. To grow at this level, leaders work on getting to know their people and connecting with them. You can’t lead without people, which means you need to learn to like people if you want to lead well!

When you like people and treat them as individuals who have value, you begin to develop positive influence with them. Trust grows, which usually leads to respect. And the environment becomes much more positive—whether at home, on the job, at play, or while volunteering. Level 2 is where solid, lasting relationships are built that create the foundation for the next level.

LEVEL 3 — PRODUCTION

The best leaders know how to motivate their people to GTD – get things done! And getting things done is what Level 3 is all about. On this level, leaders who produce results build their influence and credibility. People still follow because they want to, but they do it because of more than the relationship. People follow Level 3 leaders because of their track record.

The Production level is where leaders can become change agents. Work gets done, morale improves, profits go up, turnover goes down, and goals are achieved. The more you produce, the more you’re able to tackle tough problems and face thorny issues. Leading and influencing others becomes fun, because when everyone is moving forward together, the team rises to another level of effectiveness.

It’s important to note here that the goal with the 5 Levels is not to move away from one level to grow at a new level. Instead, these 5 levels of leadership build upon each other. In other words, Level 3 leaders still need to do the things that make Level 2 happen. They just add Level 3 strategies to the mix. And as they become effective at Level 3, they are ready to layer on the goals of the next levels.

LEVEL 4 — PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT

Level 4 can be summed up in one word: reproduction. Your goal at this level is to identify and develop as many leaders as you can by investing in them and helping them grow.

The reason is simple: When there are more leaders, more of the organization’s mission can be accomplished. The people you choose to develop may show great potential for leadership, or they may be diamonds in the rough, but the main idea is the same: When you invest in them, you can reproduce yourself.

The more you raise up new leaders, the more you will change the lives of all members of the team. As a result, people will follow you because of what you’ve done for them personally. And as an added bonus, some of those mentoring relationships are likely to last a lifetime.

So to grow at the people development level, you need to make investing in leaders a priority, and take intentional steps every day to help them grow. Do that consistently, for long enough, and you may begin to reap the rewards of the next level.

LEVEL 5 — PINNACLE

The highest level of leadership is also the most challenging to attain. It requires longevity as well as intentionality. You simply can’t reach Level 5 unless you are willing to invest your life into the lives of others for the long haul. But if you stick with it, if you continually focus on both growing yourself at every level, and developing leaders who are willing and able to develop other leaders, you may find yourself at the Pinnacle.

The commitment to becoming a Pinnacle leader is sizeable, but so are the payoffs. Level 5 leaders develop Level 5 organizations. They create opportunities other leaders don’t. They create a legacy in what they do. People follow them because of who they are and what they represent. In other words, their leadership gains a positive reputation. As a result, Level 5 leaders often transcend their position, their organization, and sometimes their industry.

There’s so much more I’d love to tell you, but let me leave you with this. Leadership is about growth – for yourself, your relationships, your productivity, and your people. To lead well, you must embrace your need for continual improvement, and the 5 Levels provide a leadership GPS to help you with your journey. You must know where you are, to know where you’re going.

Otherwise, as the Cheshire Cat told Alice, when you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.

For more in-depth teaching on The 5 Levels of Leadership, read my 2011 book on the subject. Or learn from one of my expert facilitators at a workshop in your area.

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Modesty: A Sincere Message to Women from Men

by obam
written by obam

Lust. It’s something every man struggles with. Whether we admit it or not, we struggle with impure thoughts and oftentimes true lust. However, this is not something unique to men, women struggle with it too.

We want to address what some dress like on a regular basis from day to day. We don’t do this pointing any fingers. We do this to start a healthy discussion and have an honest dialogue.

These men in this video are brave enough to speak out about it. We think what starts as an impure thought in the mind, can lead down a slippery slope towards acting out sexually through watching pornography and/or having an affair.

Men, do you realize you’re accountable for what you think and do after seeing an attractive woman? What do you think about women dressing modestly?

Women, what do you think about this video? Have you ever wrestled with what or what not to wear?

Please feel free to discuss this openly in the comments section after you watch this video:

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Filip Milosavljevic | We Need to Talk About Porn

by obam
written by obam

Sexual addiction in the church is real.

 After listening to a friend in their late 20s share about their sexual addiction, it hit me that they have been struggling with this for over 10 years, a decade of their life. They shared feeling shame, unproductivity scholastically and professionally, stunted in relationships and distance from God because of this struggle.

For some, if it’s been less than a decade—it may be getting close to that, if not longer, for millennials in their 20s and 30s who are struggling with some form of sexual addiction, whether male or female (it is definitely not just a guy thing).

Sexual addiction in the New Testament is understood by the Greek word porneia. Paul in 1 Thessalonians 4:3 tells us, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: abstain from sexual immorality (porneia).”

The word itself can mean a slew of many sexual acts that would be deemed perversions. For millennial Christians though, three main forms of “porneia” stand out in this generation, porn (sound familiar to the Greek?), sexual encounters (non-intercourse sexual experiences) and pre-marital sex, aka fornication.

To find some form of freedom from sexual addiction does not begin by denying our desires, simply praying more or having an accountability partner.

Redefining Sexual Desire in God’s Kingdom

Theologian John Howard Yoder commented about a greater vision Jesus had for the world when He shared some of His sexual ethics on the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7): “When [Jesus] called his society together Jesus gave its members a new way of life to live. … He gave them a new pattern of relationships between man and woman … in which was made concrete a radical new vision of what it means to be a human person.”

The crux of sexual addiction must begin by viewing the person behind the screen, or in our bed, as a real genuine person of God’s Kingdom, beloved, prized and a child of someone and future spouse of someone else if not you. To find some form of freedom from sexual addiction does not begin by denying our desires, simply praying more or having an accountability partner. Saying something doesn’t exist when it really does will not make it disappear.

Rather, giving back personhood—realizing they have parents, they are children of God, possibly someone’s spouse to be one day—to the people we have become addicted to watching and seeing behind a screen or interacting with inappropriately is crucial. Our human sexuality needs to be understood in the greater context of the kingdom.

Stanley Hauerwas, a professor at Duke University, put it like this:

Too often technologies of the self, used to free ourselves of … lust, make those passions possess an even greater hold over our lives. Jesus, however, is not recommending that we will our way free of lust or anger, but rather he is offering us membership in a people that is so compelling we are not invited to dwell on ourselves or our sinfulness.
Alone we cannot conceive of an alternative to lust, but Jesus offers us participation in a kingdom that is so demanding we discover we have better things to do than to concentrate on our lust.

Stepping into the ring with sin with a few quick tricks is not going to solve the problem, but it can help along the way if you have already created a strong foundation in Christ and His community. This whole discussion should take place in the community of God, while being consumed with that which is greater and beyond us so as to provide something meaningful for our time and desires.

There are great Scriptures to memorize to replace Satan’s lies with truth.

Tips for Dealing with Sexual Addiction

The following list is given with mild caution. These are not dealing with the greater issue, but only tips to use in desperate moments, as well as a few preventative ones.

“Confess your sins one to another.”
This is really the first thing you should do. When someone you trust knows your struggle, you no longer struggle alone. So surround yourself with friends who will rally behind you and journey with you in this. Meet or communicate in some way with them every week, invite them to ask you how you’re doing, and be honest—there is no reason to lie to a friend. Preferably, this would be a friend of the same sex.

Run like Joseph.
Joseph knew what he was doing when he ran from Potifer’s wife. Sometimes you just need to drop your phone, computer, get out of the car or room with that person, and walk away. Literally.

Know your sexual triggers.
Reflect on people, places, times and even moods you get in where temptations are the most difficult to deal with. Then, as Joshua Harris wrote in Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is), create a customized plan for yourself before you get into the way of temptation, so you can be preventative, rather than having an emergency always.

Cut your hands off.
Ok not seriously, but kind of. When Jesus was addressing issues of dealing with sexual addiction he said, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than your whole body go into hell” (Matthew 5:30).

Set serious security measures on your technology and cut certain friendships out of your life

Leave doors open.
When you know someone can walk past you at any moment, it has a way of killing heated passions, whether you’re alone behind a computer or your significant someone is with you. Privacy is great when you want to have a meaningful prayer time, but not when you’re struggling with sin and need the blessing of others to keep you in check, even if it’s unintentionally with a door open. This doesn’t work very well when you’re living alone.

Spend time in public spaces or where others are present.
It’s kinda tough to watch porn or get frisky with your girlfriend or boyfriend when you’re around other people.

Leave your technology outside your room at night.
Boredom, or even longing for someone’s touch can open a portal to evil curiosity with cell phones or computers, so just leave them outside your room and get a regular alarm clock. It also helps you fall asleep better as your melatonin production can initiate sooner without the light.

Accept mentorship from another couple.
Invite a meaningful couple into your dating journey that will love you with straight questions and pray for you during your dating experience or single years.

Fast weekly.
Fasting is a way of receiving from God an extra measure of power and connection to the Father that is not normally available to someone. Jesus explained to His disciples who were not able to remove dark strongholds over people that it can only be done “by fasting and prayer” (Matthew 17:21). Fasting forces one of the most basic human needs to be suppressed for something deeply Holy, which similarly causes one to do the same with sexual passion.
Preach truth to yourself.
Jesus never dealt with Satan apart from Scripture. Look at Jesus in His compromised state, famished, but connected with the Father after fasting, He quoted Scripture to Satan each time He was challenged (Matthew 4:1-11). There are great Scriptures to memorize to replace Satan’s lies with truth. So the moment lust begins to well up within you, start your sermon, say out loud: “‘The pure in heart shall see God’ (Matthew 5:8), and God I want to see you clearly, so take my heart right now and make it clean, because my ‘body is not made for sexual immorality, but for the Lord.’”

Make a covenant with your eyes.
“I have made a covenant with my eyes not to lust after a girl,” said Job (Job 31:1). Whether you’re a guy or girl, make a pact with your eyes not to dwell on the opposite gender, whether they are on a page in a magazine, on the computer, in a gym, in your mind, a movie or song. Bounce your eyes away after you realize you’re going to want to dwell on them, and tell yourself “I have made a covenant.”

Halt in your compromised state.
Years ago I heard it said, “You fall to temptation in all aspects when you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired, HALT.” I would add an S, for spiritually detached, i.e. neglecting church, running from God or just apathetic to spiritual things. When you’re in this space, halt! Take a chill pill, and get sleep, go eat, take a walk, go find a friend, and start praying.

Keep your eyes on Jesus, not your sin.
One day my brother-in-law saw me reading a book about sin and lust, and he told me, “Stop staring at your sin, and stare into the eyes of the one who will take away your sin.” He encouraged me to study the life of Jesus and meditate on Him instead of my sin.

When dealing with this addiction it starts with grounding your sexuality in Christ, by giving Him your desires, and committing yourself to His Kingdom causes. Then, when you are in places of danger utilize whatever you need to get out of harm’s way.

Filip Milosavljevic is the pastor for Youth Ministry at the Loma Linda University Church in Loma Linda, CA, where he lives with his wife, Elena.

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Tullian Tchividjian | The Freedom in Losing it All

by obam
written by obam

Former megachurch pastor and grandson of Billy Graham, Tullian Tchividjian, recently wrote about how he was on the brink of suicide after the revelations of two affairs ended his marriage and his job. Tchividjian stepped down as pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church last summer, after he confessed to an extramarital affair. This post was originally published on expastors.com.

Hello. My name is Tullian Tchividjian. I used to be a pastor. Some would even say a successful pastor. I was leading a large church that had a school and a seminary, writing a book a year, travelling extensively all over the country speaking at conferences and churches and various events. However one wants to define “celebrity pastor”, I was one. And then it all came crashing down.

Two things I had come to believe were secure forever (apart from my relationship with God) were my 21-year marriage and my calling as the senior pastor of the historic Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Both came crumbling down during the spring and early summer of 2015.

First my marriage. Then my position at the church. And with those two losses came a thousand other losses. The loss of close friendships, the loss of financial stability, the loss of purpose, the loss of confidence in God’s goodness, the loss of hope, the loss of joy, the loss of opportunity, the loss of life as I knew it. Life went from feeling like a fairy tale to feeling like a violent tragedy.

But as shocking and painful as all these losses were, my instinctive response shocked me even more: the rage, the blame-shifting, the thirst for revenge, the bitter arrogance, the self-justified resentment, the dark self-righteousness, the control-hungry manipulation, the deluded rationalization, the deep selfishness, the perverted sense of entitlement. Maybe these disgusting things which flowed from my depths with such natural ease shouldn’t have shocked me. After all, I was well known for talking about my own messed-upness, talking openly about my sin and selfishness, my faults and fears, my pride and pains.

I never pretended to have it all together. In fact, one of the reasons people listened to my sermons and read my books and came out to hear me speak when I was travelling is because I was honest about my brokenness and the amazing grace of God that covers us at our worst. I was known for saying that God loves bad people because bad people are all that there are. So I knew I was bad. I just didn’t know I was THAT bad.

The truth is, though, that we are very good lawyers when it comes to our own mistakes, but very good judges when it comes to the mistakes of others. As one of my counselors told me early on, circumstances don’t create the condition of the heart. Rather, circumstances reveal the condition of the heart. And what was revealed to me about my heart in the fiery hotness of dire circumstances was scary and destructive. This disgusting truth about myself (and the desperate aloneness that I felt because of it) made me want to commit suicide. In my darkest moment (after researching for two hours the best way to kill myself), I wrote this:

Words cannot express the pain I feel for the hurt I’ve caused. It has become too much to bear. Based on what I’ve done and the pain I’ve caused, I have concluded that it is safer for all those I love that I just disappear. 

Life without hope is death. 

At the end, I tried. I really, really tried. God knows that my apologies and my expressions of love were real. So real. But what does that matter when the people you want so bad to believe you, don’t? I understand why they didn’t. Given my recent track record, why would they? So when it became clear that those I love most wanted nothing to do with me, the choice I needed to make became clear. 

Initially, I got angry and defensive when I was told that I’m a monster, evil, disgustingly dangerous, etc. But it has sunk in and I finally believe it. I am all those things. Lord have mercy. 

One final word to the church: when people screw up bad, try to help them. Do your best to sacrifice anything and everything to help them. More than likely, they screwed up bad because they need help. Don’t turn your back on them. Pursue them. Something isn’t right with them and they need help. Even if they have hurt you bad, do everything you can to help them. 

“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”

How did I get to this point of total desperation? How did I arrive at that dark place where I actually wanted to kill myself?

What I see now that I couldn’t see then is that this explosion had been building for a few years. The shift from locating my identity in the message of the Gospel to locating my identity in my success as a messenger of the Gospel was slow and subtle. It came on like the slow creep of the tide rather than a sudden tidal wave. I painfully learned that the more you anchor your identity and sense of worth in something or someone smaller than God, the more pain you will experience when you lose it all.

My confidence was severely misplaced: Confidence in status, reputation, power and position, the way I spoke, the praise I received, financial security and success. In other words, confidence in things that were smaller than God and his grace—confidence in things that were unstable and fleeting and easily taken away. Because I had existentially located my significance in things smaller than God, my loss did not simply usher in grief and pain and shame and regret. It ushered in a severe identity crisis. Without these things and people that I had come to depend on to make me feel like I mattered, I no longer knew who I was. I felt dead. Therefore, I might as well be dead.

The journey God has taken me on over the last two years has been one of complete deconstruction…not just externally but internally. The exploration of who I am, who God is, what is real, what matters, and so on, has been one of pure stripping. It has felt like my skin being painfully ripped from my bones. Just when I think I can’t take anymore, God seems to dig deeper. As painful as it has been, however, it has also been very liberating. As my counselor and mentor told me the other day, “The purpose behind the suffering you are going through is to kick you into a new freedom from false definitions of who you are.” So true. Death before resurrection has always been and will always be Gods mode of operation. Dark desperation always precedes deep deliverance. That is my hope. That is my only lifeline.

So, whether you’re a pastor or an ex-pastor or just a beat-up and burned out human, here’s the good news: Who you really are has nothing to do with you — how much you can accomplish, who you can become, what you’ve done or failed to do, the size of your church or the size of your sin, your behavior (good or bad), your strengths, your weaknesses, your family background, your education, your looks and so on. Your identity is firmly anchored in Christ’s accomplishment, not yours; his strength, not yours; his performance, not yours; his victory, not yours. The gospel doesn’t just free you from what other people think about you; it frees you from what you think about yourself.

This means that He is the light at the end of your dark tunnel. And He’s not going anywhere. Others may leave, but He will stay. As Winston Churchill famously said, “When you’re going through hell, keep walking.”

Your life is far from over. In fact, it may be just beginning.

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